Wednesday, May 16, 2007

McEllistrim Mystery Solved

It has always perplexed constituents in North Kerry how the FFer Mac spends his days. It seems he single-handedly has managed this republic with remarkable skill.

Mr. McElllistrim is a Secondary School Teacher.

He is taking the Next Step.

This is what he does every day, in his own words;

Press Release by Tom McEllistrim at 15:00 10/05/2007
‘Dick Spring likes to attack people.
‘I like to attack problems.
‘Let’s rememeber that Ireland today is a much stronger and more prosperous country now than when the Rainbow left office in 1997.
‘In 1997, unemployment in Ireland was 10.4pc. Today, it’s 4.2pc.
‘In 1997, minimum wage didn’t exist. Today, it’s €8.40.
‘In 1997, the threshold for paying income tax was €5,000. Today it’s 17,600.
‘In 1997, the State contributory pension was €99. Today, it’s €209.
‘In Kerry General Hospital, we’ve boosted funding by 186pc, increased staff numbers by 42pc and set about getting work under way this year on a new €11 million accident and emergency unit.
‘We’ve cut average class sizes, put €35 million in developing Tralee IT and in the past few months invested €18 million in Kerry Airport.
'We've put more gardaĆ­ on our streets and more teachers in our schools.
‘Sure, there are challenges but there're fewer now than when Labour last held the reigns of power.
‘That’s what I’m taking the Next Steps Forwad for North Kerry,’ said Deputy McEllistrim.

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