Irish Blog Awards - Not Nominated

from agnes in tadhgeen prendiville's castleisland;

It came to my attention from twitter the the 2010 Irish Blog Award nominations have been published.

How big is the list ? About 1,200 nominations. How many Sponsors? Around 17.

Now far be it from me to cast asparagus at the good guys behind the awards, but that's a lot of nominations. It means a lot of traffic to someone. It means a lot of inter-communication and, dare I say it, networking, business networking that is. As I say, I do not wish to cast asparagus.

You may say we are peeved not to be nominated. Of course it would be nice to be nominated- if it meant anything other than a business proposition for some. This particular blog of ours is really crap compared with many - we know that, it's not a problem for us. For many a flower is born to blush unseen.

Better outside pissing in than inside pissing on each other.

All the best to the nominees and may the best blogs win - we really mean the best blogs.

Come on Grandad.

IRA Car bomb damages N. Ireland courthouse

from seanie in parker's kilflynn;

Not my headline - but from MSNBC ticker. The full story here. Obviously the locals in Newry and Northern Island should be concerned.

But what of Sinn Fein ? How many thousands of Irish in the US think of Gerry Adams/Martin McGuinness as IRA people? They must surely be pissed off with MSNBC and their headline writers. And if they are pissed off with MSNBC, how accomodating are they to 'dissidents'?

Make up the rest yourself.

Ireland is Dead.

from agnes abroad in the coachman's inn;

Mary Coughlan, Tanaiste and minister for jobs. Qualification? Educated Ursuline Convent, Sligo and UCD (B.Soc.Sci). Full time public representative and former social worker; source FF. That's it. Social Worker. Plenty of work for social workers in North Dublin.

Her favourite quote? "'Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centres of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance". Maybe the sentence is too long for her to read.

Willie O'Dea, Minister for forgetting. Qualification? UCD and Kings Inns and the Institute of Certified Accountants (BCL, LLM, BL, Certified Accountant). Are lawyers and accountants people we can rely on? Could just as well be a qualified Bishop. Lies, Lies, Lies.

Brian Cowen, Top Dog. Qualification? They also serve who stand and wait.

Kiss my ring - as gaeilge

from agnes in church sol y sombra killorglin;

So the bishops kiss the pope's ring.

Pog mo thoin, kiss my ring.

Nuff said.

Let's Tax Al Qaeda

€5? not bad..

from sean ban in the public bar at ballyseede castle;

Now here's an idea for our cash strapped beaurocrats - why not charge illegal organisations a licence fee? You don't believe it can't be done?

Check out South Carolina's Subversive Registration Act. The ruling is "every member of a subversive organization, or an organization subject to foreign control, every foreign agent and every person who advocates, teaches, advises or practices the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States ... shall register with the Secretary of State."  It cost $5 to register. You can download the PDF application form here.

Of course the troubles are now over. Aren't they?

Northern Ireland, Who Cares?

from seanie at the bar in freddies, caherdaniel;

Ulster's Funny Stuff is a podcast available from the BBC. It is also surely an oxymoron. I have not downloaded it but I'm sure it's a very short piece.

Irish Unity on the Agenda? Who is Sinn Fein kidding? No-one in the 'South' gives a toss or cares about the 'North'. Unless of course 'Southerners' go up to stock up on Dutch Gold or whatever it is plebeians drink nowadays.

But if the 'North' did not exist, then of course Sainsbury's would not be there.

So there you have it. Ulster's Funny Stuff will be on show in London on 20th February 2010.

George Lee More Popular than Haiti

Marshall McLuhan

from seanie in glenduff house tralee;

Well that's it. Haiti gone from the populist media. 212,00 people dead. More to come. But we worry about George Lee and Charlie Bird. How many George Lees and Charlie Birds lie under the ruins of Haiti? Some village Hamlet......

Of course we are told that the media only tell the stories that the people want. But Ireland has reached a truly obnoxious level of naval gazing. 2 newspeople, 2 journalists are the story.

Truly the medium is now the message.

Eamonn Lillis Murder Lessons

Why get a divorce in Ireland? It takes far too long. We can learn a lot from the Eamonn Lillis trial. Why not invest in a bit of decking and leave a brick or two around. You will find that it will take only 5 years to be rid of your wife (7 years less time off).

So you want to be legal? Well first off you have the year or so leading up to the 'we should take some time out' stage. The you have to try mediation. And the law states "At the date of the commencement of the proceedings, the spouses have lived apart for four out of the five previous years"

So.

Murder the wife. 5 years.

Divorce her. At least 7 years. And she is still around.

picture from here

FF Minister's Advice

with grateful thanks to our Man in Portugal

Anti-Abortionists to Support the Big Match ?

from agnes in charlies in kerins o'rahillys;

Croke Park has a big match coming up - and a Rugby match at that. But the GAA will not have international rugby or soccer matches for much longer. Alternative sources of income will have to be found.

Why not have the Pro-Life Lobby sponsor the half-time entertainment? The idea comes to me because CBS have allowed an anti-abortionist group to advertise during the Super-Bowl. Such an ad costs millions of dollars. It features a wonderful athlete Tim Tebow, god love him. The doctors wanted his mum to have an abortion, but she didn't - hence Tim. Read all about this wonderful piece of mankind here.

So, I fully recommend that Youth Defence get in there quick - imagine the half time show we could have! It's not as if the GAA has too many scruples when it comes to sponsorship.

Enjoy Drinking Non-Sensibly. It's Better That Way

Really Flushing Euros Down the Toilet

from stockie in blind piper caherdaniel;

Imagine you are in charge of a town of 3,393 souls, all with bladders. Also imagine that the town has over 85 pubs, 2 hotels, many restaurants. Lots of places to relieve oneself. A town with surely enough toilets, all public, to cope.

Not if you are in charge of Listowel.

The good councillors installed a public toilet that will cost €600,000 in total. In 2008 toilet cost €37,950.

It earned €1,500.

Listowel Council, a mirror image to the Government.

3,393 people wouldn't piss enough to make a few bob for the council. Perhaps Nama could help by taking on the town's debt. After all there are supposed to be many speculators left with no pot to piss in

Pink - A Kerryman wakes up

from stockie at club headbangbang tralee;

Good god.What a girl.Not being a follower of 'popular music' I was blissfully unaware of such talent.

Pink at the Grammys.

Beats Twink at the Gaiety

Dublin Speed Limit is the Bleedin Limit

from agnes in ashes, camp;

The amount of money spent on denying people to use cars is unbelievable - €40 million on the Road Safety Authority - see previous note. And now town and city councils are getting in on the spending. How much of Garda expenditure is car related? Not counting other Government departments.

For fuck's sake. If people are being injured and killed in towns and cities it's because;

a) Pedestrians Jay walk.

b) Pedestrians get pissed.

c) Pedestrians don't look.

d) Pedestrians ignore traffic lights

e) Pedestrians ignore zebra crossing rules.

f) Pedestrians don't use footpaths.

g) Pedestrians don't wear hi-vis clothing.

h) Pedestrians are soft and don't have built-in air bags (politicians excepted).

But who get's the blame? Motorists. Because Motorists are seen as a never ending source of revenue.

Vote Vote Vote.

Protest. Protest. Protest.